


Sandman

by babybluesuga



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Mystery, Peaky Blinders - Freeform, Reader Insert, Thomas Shelby / Reader, Thomas Shelby x reader - Freeform, tommy shelby x reader - Freeform, tommy shelby x y/n
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:07:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25057456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babybluesuga/pseuds/babybluesuga
Relationships: Tommy Shelby/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	Sandman

_“If you don’t go to bed early, the sandman will come and take you away”_

You shrieked in protest, throwing the bed covers over your head wiggling down to the centre of the bed, safe from the edges and sides of the bed. No monsters or sandman could get you now. You were under the protection of your sacred bed covers. An impregnable fortress. 

The room had fallen quiet, the soft rustling of the bed sheets filled the silence until you spoke, voice soft and muffled by the thick cotton sheets. 

“You’re lying, Tommy. The sandman has magic sand that he uses makes children sleep _and_ he givesthem the best dreams _ever_. He doesn’t _take them away._ ” You huffed.

Hearing no response, your head popped out of the covers, slowly and cautiously. Only your eyes were visible as you searched for your brother. He was sat on the chair beside your bed, a playful smile on his lips, eyes dancing with amusement as he watched you.

You looked adorable. Buried under the white sheets you looked like you were swallowed whole by a giant marshmallow, leaving only your doe-eyes exposed. The sight made Tommy’s heart melt.

The pair of you stared at each other in silence, Tommy allowed himself this moment to solely focus on you. Truthfully, he didn’t spend much time with you and Finn as he was focused on growing the business. He didn’t think much of it, until now. 

When he carried you up to your room this evening (much to your excitement because Tommy being the doting big brother was a rarity), Tommy noticed how long your hair had grown. Just like your hair, you too had grown too. 

You were still so young, untouched by the harshness of the world but you already growing up too fast for his liking. Tommy knew it was foolish, to wish you remained young like this forever. Sweet and innocent. The light of his life. Always looking up at him with those big curious eyes that held so much love and admiration for him. 

He was aware that as you grow up many things will change. However, he hoped that the one thing that would remain the same was the way you looked at him. Anyone with a pair of working eyes could see the love and admiration you held for your brother. He liked your version of himself. 

He closer to being the big bad wolf than prince charming but Tommy could try to live up to the man and older brother you saw him for. 

The sudden knocking at your door pulled Tommy from his thoughts. Polly’s head dipped in, frowning to see you still awake.

“Y/n, get to bed this instant.” Polly spoke sternly, giving you _the look_. You shrinked back under the blankets seeking refuge from her deadly gaze.

“And you, completely useless” Polly directed at Tommy, shaking her head. She mumbled something under her breathe as she closed the door behind her.

As soon as you heard the door click shut, you sprouted out from under the covers, grinning of ear to ear.

“Tell me a story Tommy.”

Tommy sighed as he stood up, walking towards your bed. 

“Another night, love. Its already late. We better get you to sleep before the sandman comes.” His grin was devilish. 

You whined as Tommy tucked you in. “Tommy!!”

“You make the sandman sound like a bad guy.” You pouted.

“Well maybe he is. Have you ever met him?” Tommy asked lightly.

“...No” 

He raised a brow in question. “Well then, how do you know if he is a nice guy?”

“How do _you_ know he is a bad guy then?” You countered, the frown on your face indicating you were tried of Tommy’s teasing.

Tommy scoffed with the shake of his head. “Fair enough.”

“Well then, I hope the sandman brings you sweet dreams tonight, little one.” Tommy pressed gentle kiss to your forehead.

He pulled back to find your frown replaced with a smile, one so bright it rivaled the stars above. 

“Thanks, Tommy” 

~

_10 Years later_

_“_ My god, Tommy! You won’t let me do anything!!” Your screams filled the house as you came like a storm, kicking the front door open.

“I can’t even breathe without _you_ breathing down _my_ neck!!” You shouted at Tommy, who was hot on your heals.

“ _You_ will _not_ speak to me like that!” His voice bellows inside the thin walls of the house as he catches up to you.

“ I am your older brother, you will do as I say as long as you live under this roof, do you understand me?!” Tommy grabs you arm, pulling you around to face him. 

The action is so sharp, it almost gives you whiplash. You instinctively try to free yourself of his grip.

“Let go of me!” You snap, glaring at him. He stares back.

You scoff, rolling your eyes at his words that sounded more likeathreat. He actually had the audacityto pull that card on you and it infuriated you to no end. 

_‘Do as I say and if you don’t like it, fuck off’_ Is what you heard.

Tommy’s sky-blue eyes are flaming with rage as he looks down at you. You frown, dropping your gaze to the floor, refusing to meet his daunting gaze.

Your free hand attempts to pry his fingers off your arm one by one. Your nails scratch at his skin, leaving red marks but you don’t care. 

“Oi! Look at me when I’m speaking to you!” He suddenly snaps at you. You instinctively flinch away from him.

Tommy’s eyes widen as realisation slaps in him the face. His grip on you drops instantly as his hand burns with regret. The room is pin drop silent.

A long, tired sigh leaves Tommy’s lips as he takes a step back, head bowed down in shame. The pair of you stood there in silence, both trying to process your own thoughts. 

Anger was an ugly thing. It blinded its victim to all logic and reason; and most importantly it held no regard for who it hurt. Tommy couldn’t believe he treated you so harshly. That wasn’t him, not with you. That side of him was reserved for the brutes who deserved it.

Exasperated with the situation and himself, Tommy pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration, exhaling heavily as he carefully thinks through his next words. He clears his throat in a lame attempt to clear the tension in the room.

“Look y/n, I didn’t mean that...” His soft is softer now as he took a step forward, reaching out to you but freezes as you take a step back. Tommy silently curses himself.

“As your older brother it is my job to protect you.” He points to the front door.

“There are bad men out there who want to hurt our family, hurt you. They don’t care if you’re a kid, to them its all the same. They’re the real monsters.” 

_Not me,_ he thinks.

“ Our business is growing and that attracts more trouble. I just want to keep you safe and if that means having someone follow you wherever you go then so be it. I need to know that you’re safe, even when can’t be there for you.” He admits, hoping that you’d understand the decisions he makes from his perspective. He looks at you, hopeful.

You silently listened as you softly massaged your arm as he spoke. Your gaze remained fixed on the floor, still refusing to meet Tommy’s gaze as your vision began to blur.

Tommy immediately picks up on the change in your body language. The crease in your eyebrows, your glassy eyes, biting your lower lip as you absentmindedly rub your arm, doing anything to distract yourself from shedding those tears.

Testing his limits, he takes another towards you, placing his hands on your shoulders. He calls out your name in a low murmur. 

When you finally look up to meet his concerned gaze, the tears building in your eyes begin to fall and his heart constricts at the sight. The rose tinted lens you saw him through was shattered. For the first time, he sees himself, for who he truly is reflected in your eyes.

He sees the ruthless gangster. He sees the big bad wolf. He doesn’t see _your_ version of him. There is no prince charming. No. Tommy had taken that image and shredded it to bits and pieces. Pieces he could never put back together. 

The hurt outweighs the anger but its there, swirling in your eyes, speaking volumes as it pierces through him. 

“Tommy, please just stop. Stop with the excuses. You don’t treat Finn the same way. You’re always trying to control everything! Where I go and who I’m with!” You’re bawling now, furiously wiping at your eyes as the tears rain down your cheeks.

“Don’t you care about what I want?” You choke out, voice cracking. 

In that moment, Tommy thinks taking a gunshot would be less painful than watching you cry your heart out before him. Knowing that he was the cause of your pain was the cherry on top the cake.

Tommy pulls you to his chest, arms wrapping around your trembling form, one hand cradling your head as you cry into his chest. He tries to breathe out the guilt weighting heavily on his chest.

“ I’m trying to protect y-” 

You break free from his grip, hands furiously slamming against his chest. 

“You’re not doing it for me. You’re doing it for _you!”_ You scream, eyes raging.

“Just- leave me alone!” You run past past him and out the front before Tommy can finished his sentence. Tommy doesn’t have the strength to go after you. He lamely stands there, watching as your back appears smaller and smaller until it’s out of his sight. 

His decision to not go after you at that moment is one that will haunt him for the rest of his life, because Tommy never gets to voice the apology sitting on the tip of his tongue.

An exhausted sigh leaves Tommy’s lips as his hand drags across his face. He rings up Arthur at the betting shop and fills in him on what happened. Arthur, John and Finn are instantly out looking for you along with most of the peaky boys while Tommy awaits your return at home. 

Tommy believed he had dealt with enough for one day. But oh boy was he wrong. When the storm known as Polly Gray steps in the house all hell breaks loose for the second time that day. Tommy silently takes her screaming and hits as usual because he deserves it.

“You better pray that y/n comes home tonight in one piece or so help me god, Thomas.” She spits out, shaking with anger as she leaves the room.

One again, Tommy is left alone in the company of his misery. 

~

The sun has long set. The brothers were still out there, searching. Tommy didn’t dare step out of the house, in case you returned while he was out looking for you. He skipped dinner and retreated to his room. He didn’t deserve to eat, to be with family, not when you were still out there, all alone in the cold. 

He paced up and down, as thought after thought bombarded his mind. A million and one scenarios ran through his mind as he thought of you.

Did you have dinner yet? Were you alright? With a friend, he hoped. He wondered if you had any friends close enough to rely on. As far he he knew, as told by the peaky boy tasked with shadowing you, you had no such person. Maybe that was his fault too, for scaring off anyone who dared to get too close to you.

He shook those thoughts out of his head. Once he walked down that road there was no going back. He had to stay present. You’d come home any minute and he’d be here to fix the mess he made. He’d take you in his arms and never let you go.

Tommy hadn’t realized how much time had passed until he heard a knock at his door. 

“No news yet, Tom.” John said solemnly, from the other side of the door. Tommy’s knuckles bruised red as his fist connected with the brick wall beside his door. 

~

The house was deadly silent. All the lights in the house were still on, waiting to give you a warm welcome as soon as you stepped through the front door. It was late. Everyone had retreated to their respective rooms, praying for better news in the morning. 

Knowing that the peaky boys were still out there looking for you brought everyone, especially Tommy some relief. It allowed everyone else to get some much needed rest. Your disappearance had taken its toll on the family and everyone dealt with it differently. 

John and Arthur pushed back their emotions and channeled all their energy into finding you. Finn, the poor boy didn’t know how to deal with it. His younger sibling was gone. Even though you were only a year younger than him, Finn was still overprotective of you. The pair of you were thick as thieves. He followed his brothers’ example and pushed back the panic and focused on getting you back.

When Ada found out she couldn't bring herself to look at Tommy, much less speak to him. Polly had already said everything that needed to be said. 

It was around midnight when Tommy heard the front door groan as it opened. He sat up in bed, heart racing, ears heightening at the sound of light foot-steps treading up the creaky stairs. Tommy held is breathe. Those steps, light as feather could only belong to you. 

Tommy sprang out of the bed and bolted for the door. His knuckles went white from the tight grip he had on the door handle. However, he never turned the knob. 

Tommy stood there silently listening as the soft steps came to a stop in front of his door or rather yours, since your room was directly opposite to his. His ears rang furiously as he stood there with baited breathe, waiting for what, he didn’t know. 

Did he secretly hope you would knock on his door to let him know you were home? or was he waiting for the courage to take the first step and confront you? To ask for your forgiveness, to thank you for coming back home safe? He didn’t know.

However, his moment of opportunity slipped through his fingers again as he heard your door open and shut. Tommy mistook the shuddering breath that left his lips for a sigh of relief knowing that you were home safe.

However, he couldn’t explain the chill that ran down his spine, leaving the hairs on his neck sticking up. Something unfamiliar pricked at his heart, it settled into his chest was like an itch that he couldn’t get rid off. His mind began to shut down as the stress finally caught up with him both physically and mentally. Tommy dismissed the unsettling feeling in his chest and silenced the disconcerting voice calling on him to check on you.

You were home, safe and sound. He couldn’t figure out why his body was suddenly reacting this way. Maybe his body was going through some delayed shock reaction, he reasoned.

As his fingers slipped of the door knob, Tommy halted as he suddenly recalled the promise that the both of you made to each other years ago. It was made after the pair of you had a really bad fight. 

It was a little squabble that went a tad to far which resulted in you crying your eyes out. Tommy couldn’t even recall what you guys fought about but he knew it was over something so trivial and silly. To Tommy it was nothing but to you it was everything. 

It ripped his heart to see you cry. Nothing had really changed in that respect. Then and there he got down on one knee before you and stuck out his right hand pinky. He promised that if the two of you ever fought, you would resolve it before going to bed.

_“Never go to bed angry, Y/n. Because tomorrow is never promised”_

There were fresh tear stains running down your cheeks, your nose wet and dripping all over the place but you still managed to smile as you linked your little pinky with your big brother’s. That was the first vow Tommy had made to you. 

Tonight was the first and subsequently the last time he would break that promise. He told himself that you were exhausted and needed rest, and that his face was the last thing you wanted to see right now. Whether he convinced himself out of genuine concern or selfishness and guilt, it didn’t matter. 

The choices he made today and the opportunities he let slip through his fingers, like he did with you, would haunt him every day for the rest of his life. The little voice in the back of his head continues to plead with him, but it falls on deaf ears. 

_Turn around, turn around. Open that door and go to her._

With a heavy heart and heavy footsteps, Tommy turned around and walked towards his bed. However, he fails to notice the black and gold shimmering sand, resembling like stardust and dreams that blew into his room, through the gap under his door. He ignores the tingle of its texture against the souls of his feet as he walked.

‘ _First thing in the morning_ ’ He tells himself as his head hits the pillow, eyes fluttering shut. He won’t leave the house before he makes it right with you. He vows to himself. 

_Go to her._ The little voice in the back of his head calls out.

_Go to her._ The little voice begs.

_Go to her, go to her, go to her, go to her, go to her, go to her, go to her , go to her, GO TO HER!!!_ That little voice screams into his soul, pulling Tommy out of his slumber. 

He jumps up from the bed with a fright, gasping for oxygen as his body trembles with shock. His face is dripping with sweat, heart racing a mile a minute, that itch in his chest is burning and his hands won’t stop shaking

The bed sheets fly off as Tommy stumbles his way out of bed, heading for the door. There’s no hesitation this time as he pulls his door open and stands before your room door, gripping the handle. His tongue darts out to moisten his chapped lips as he takes a moment to steady his breathing.

_Open it, open it, open it, open it._ The little voice cries.

Inhaling sharply, sweaty hands open the door and Tommy’s heart stops at the scene in front of him. 

The pin-drop silence creeps onto Tommy. He stands there, at the entrance of your room, looking pale as death as his eyes fall onto your bed. Once again, the golden midnight dust goes unnoticed as he walks to you bed.

It is perfectly made, not a winkle in sight. Undisturbed. But not untouched. 

_Too late, too late, too late, t o o l a t e...._ the little voice fades out.

Tommy’s mind becomes foggy, his steps are slow as he walks over to your bed. The tightening in his chest makes it hard to breathe as he picks up the black card lying at the centre of your bed with shaky hands. He tries to read it but his vision is blurry. Only when he allows the tears swimming in his eyes to fall, is he able to read the words scribbled in the brightest golden glittering ink he has ever seen. 

His lips tremble as he reads the message. The cry that leaves his lips almost doesn’t sound human as it echos through through the walls of your room. Tommy finds himself sitting at the foot of your bed, blankly staring at the discarded card laying a few feet away from him when something catches his eye. 

He notices a trail of golden midnight dust from the card trailing in from the hallway into your room. He tired eyes follow along the trail that leads to him, to your bed. The trail takes a turn to the left and leaves to your opened window. 

He sees swirls of yellow and orange dance in the sky as first light breaks, casting a golden glow over the everything. It’s blinding.

Tommy’s eyes flutter shut and he sees the words on black card etched to the inside of his eyelids. Tommy is suddenly taken back to that night, many many years ago.

He is painfully reminded that there were no Prince Charming in this world.

Only The Big Bad Wolf

and....

_**“ I see you’ve been struggling to watch over your little light.** _ _**Don’t worry, Thomas.** _ _**I’ll take good care of her.” - Mr Sandman.** _


End file.
